Love Isn’t In the Air

Love Isn’t In the Air

Author - Harsh Vardhan

Traditional festivities of the 14th Feb have come undone for me, especially after seeing what comes after – people are either floating giddily on imaginary clouds or drowning in tears from heartbreak. Either way, they end up disoriented. Part of the reason it has spread so deep into our culture is it gives leeway to pursue someone romantically without offending them.

Valentine’s day isn’t a day of love – it is just a day to act frivolously. And we become light-headed and spend on things that have nothing to do with love. The custom of exchanging cards and gifting confectionery in the name of love has made it so far into popular culture that nobody can escape it. I am not saying this loosely, if you account for the time and money spent on this vain festival you will surely think twice. Don’t you think buying expensive gifts or spending hours at a salon to be intimate with someone is a bit manipulative? Yet, this is what the day of love is about – impression of love not expression of love. People go against the grain and spend excessively to win over others while they really are just trying to impress them. This attempt to outdo and invoke envy in others is not out of love but to prove themselves desirable.

I might sound dissident of love and passion but I am far from that. I urge you to read this piece in full. I believe wooing someone is noble and expression of love is a sweet thing but anointing a day for this is unreasonable. I can understand why someone may [search for love](https://www.indiatvnews.live/4574455.html).  What I disapprove is the societal pressure to be in love on this very day – the Valentine’s Day. Youngsters are especially on jitters if they don’t have a partner. Those who do, often flaunt their partner as a trophy. It is not a matter of pride that you found yourself a date – it is not an achievement. Is it nice to have someone to share your deepest feelings with? Of course, but it is not a measure of your accomplishments. You don’t get to a higher rung on the social ladder by winning a date for Valentine.

The show and dance around love is what I take issue with. Girls feel like they should dress erotically while boys feel they should do something grand all the while ignoring their real feelings. People go out on a shopping frenzy out of a fear to conform with the perpetuated traditions associated with this day. We shouldn’t need an excuse to feel love and grace. If we can feel freely then we should express our feelings freely. For example, why give flowers to someone because of Valentine’s day? To me it is the opposite of being romantic. You should give flowers to your wife whenever you feel inclined – it could be on a day that she picked you up from work or on a day when you just want to cheer her up. Expression of love shouldn’t be planned – it  should be unscripted and personal.

And as I think hard, I find there is no need to call a day to celebrate love. Love isn’t something that needs to be organized. One is perfectly capable of being in love when their heart desires. It is celebrated at different moments in our life. Aren’t marriage ceremonies a celebration of love?

Valentine’s Day, as depicted in the popular media, is nothing but a puff of smoke – it is not real. Thousands of crores worth ridiculous Valentine paraphernalia is sold in the celebration of LOVE. An emotion so sacred comes to mean so little on this day is astounding to me. 

I hope readers can see my case for not celebrating Valentine’s day. It perpetuates the myth of romance, makes everyone gooey and behave silly. True love makes people act altruistically, helps them see beyond themselves and makes them selfless. Love is not just the amorous affair that is promulgated by the media on Valentine’s Day. True love is sincere, honest and personal. Love of a mother for her child. Love of a sister to her brother. Love of a man to his wife. They are all forms of love that are well-meaning and heartfelt and you don’t need to set aside a day on the calendar to celebrate any of those.